Psychology of sex

Suppose that eating and drinking was never spoken of openly, save in veiled or poetic language, and that no one ever ate food publicly, because it was considered immoral and immodest to reveal the mysteries of that natural function.

You know what would occur. A considerable proportion of the community, especially youth, possessed by an instinctive and legitimate curiosity, would concentrate their thoughts on the SUBJECT.

They would have so many problems to puzzle over: How often ought I to eat? What ought I to eat? Is it wrong to eat fruit, which I like? Ought I to eat grass, which I don't like? Instinct notwithstanding, you may be quite sure that only a small minority would succeed in eating reasonably and wholesomely.

THE SEXUAL SECRECY OF LIFE is even more disastrous than such a nutritive secrecy would be; partly because we expend such a wealth of moral energy in directing or misdirecting it, partly because the sexual impulse normally develops at the same time as the intellectual impulse, not in the early years of life, when wholesome instinctive habits might be formed. And there is always some ignorant and foolish friend who is prepared still further to MUDDLE THINGS: “Eat a meal every other day! Eat twelve meals a day! Never eat fruit! Always eat grass!”

The advice emphatically given in sexual matters is usually not less absurd than this. When, however, the matter is fully open, the problems of food are not indeed wholly solved, but everyone is enabled by the experience of his fellows to reach some sort of situation suited to his own case. And when the rigid secrecy is once swept away a sane and natural reticence becomes for the first time possible.

Has sexual pleasure the same power on the sex which less loudly demands it?
My answer; Yes. A woman's erotic demands, though more silent than man's, are stronger. Without doubt she is more passionate than man, and more often torn by the evils of love.

The seeming reluctance of the female is not intended, I think, to inhibit sexual activity either in the male or in herself, but to increase it in both. The passivity of the female is not a real, but only an apparent, passivity, and this holds true of our own species as much as of the lower animals.

“Women are like delicately adjusted alembics,” said a seventeenth-century author. "No fire can be seen outside, but if you look underneath the alembic, if you place your hand on the hearts of women, in both places you will find a great furnace”
The passivity of women is the passivity of the magnet, which in its apparent immobility is drawing the iron toward it. An intense energy lies behind such passivity, an absorbed preoccupation in the end to be attained.

Some women do not express their sensations and feelings as much as (most men do). But the belief that the feminine sex feels the stimulus of sex less than the male is quite false. Intercourse before marriage is the rule in many agricultural and commercial villages and cities (they are three) in Kenya, with or without intention of subsequent marriage. The girls are often the seducing parties, or at least very willing; they seek to bind their lovers to them and compel them to marriage. Sexual enjoyment is more delicious and protracted in women than in men.

IT IS CERTAIN that very much of what is best in religion, art, and life owes its charm to the progressively-widening irradiation of sexual feeling AND human relations.

Read 'Amici Curiae: Sotomayor, Law Lords and Judicial Underpants Edition' on The Court at: http://www.thecourt.ca/2009/09/11/amicus-curiae-sotomayor-law-lords-and-judicial-underpants-edition/

Women perceived as Sex Vendors:Sex as Commodity

Marriage is for woman the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.

- BERTRAND RUSSELL

This might be controversial so I ask for pardon. I start off on the rebuttable presumption that male’s urges are stronger and self-control weaker than that of the female. Women (not necessarily all women), as a sex, are the owners of a commodity vitally necessary to the health and well-being of man.

As a sex, they possess a commodity to sell or to barter. Men, as a sex, are buyers of, or barterers for, this commodity. The fact remains that men and women meet each other, in the capitalist system, as buyers and sellers of, or barterers for, a commodity.

The consequence: there is no office or saloon scrub-woman so displeasing and decrepit, no court clerk so old and so unattractive, no dish-washer so sodden, that she does not know, tucked far away in her inner consciousness, perhaps, that, if the worst comes to the very worst and she loses her job, there is the truck driver or the office clerk, the shaky-legged bar patron, or the squint-eyed salesman, or the local politician, who can be counted on to tide her over an emergency-usually for goods delivered.

When a woman loses a job, especially if she loses her self-control, she has always the sale of her sex to fall back upon as a last resort. This is in no way a criticism of women. I lay no stigma upon them. I lay no stigma upon any class or sex or group, for down at bottom, men and women do what they do because they have to do it. It is the nature of life that in the struggle for existence today the laurels are only to those who use any and all methods to save themselves.

Every group which possesses anything which is necessary to the health and well-being of any other group is bound to be pursued, wooed, bribed, and paid. The monopolistic class/sex, in turn, learns to withhold, to barter, to become “uncertain, coy and hard to please,” to enhance and raise the price of her commodity, even though the economic basis of the transaction be utterly concealed or disguised. All this is exactly as natural and inevitable as a group of wage workers demanding all they can get in payment for their labour power, or the broker selling to the highest bidder. No one is to be blamed.

We discuss women philosophically and idealistically but rarely economically, when it is economics that explains commercial sex. BTW everywhere in the animal world except among humankind, the male possesses the gay and attractive plumage, the colour and form to please the eye. Naturally he should possess them. But this is not so in the WORLD OF MAN. Here we find the woman decorating herself in the colourful garb. Woman has ceased to ask, “Is he beautiful?” She asks “What does he own?” or, “How much can he pay?”

Men love to dress their women in expensive clothes, to provide them with luxurious surroundings, because this advertises to the world the fact that they are able to purchase a SUPERIOR, i. e., a HIGHER PRICED COMMODITY. Women give much time and spend money extravagantly in articles of “conspicuous waste” for the simple reason that by so doing they announce the fact that THEY are finer than other women, higher priced, of a fancier brand, possessed of better wares.

Everybody knows that the man in the office, for example, who aspires to the affections of a beautiful young woman, often spends most of his wages (at times with all irrationality) upon her in the hope of winning her attention. His office associates may describe her as “fancy,” or speak of her as “an expensive package.” And so the man magnifies his “income” in order to bribe the young lady into “giving herself” to him in exchange for his name and some sort of life-long support, provided he can produce it.

How many young wives have learned, to their chagrin, of the deceits thus practiced upon them by their husbands! Alas! The scenes that are enacted when it is discovered, after the ceremony, that the man has another young woman somewhere else, or that the “diamond” engagement ring is not yet paid for, and that the beautiful car so joyously selected by the young bride-elect, was bought upon the installment plan! That “John” earns only so much a week instead of the what he declared, John is perceived as not paying as promised and every one feels that the woman has made a “bad bargain.”

On the other hand, women (some) disguise the economic basis of the deal in every possible way; lie, cheat and compete in a life and death struggle with others of their sex. A thousand illusions, tricks, subtleties, hypocrisies are employed to cover the bald fact that WARES ARE BEING DISPLAYED, are being bidden for by other men. The deal is smothered in chivalrous urbanities and sentimental verbiage. Unnumbered circumlocutions are resorted to, to conceal the salesmanship of one who has a commodity to sell.

AND the prostitute is not, I think, the victim of men, but rather their conqueror, the sex seller who controls the sexual channels.